Five Things Friday

Today’s Five Things Friday topic is ‘five things you probably should never say to a female you’ve just met on EVE.’

Granted, I’m not trying to say that ‘all girls are the same’ just like I wouldn’t generalize and say ‘all men are assholes’ etc, but generally speaking, these are pretty obvious things most girls don’t want to hear.

1. What do you look like/can I have your picture?

You don’t ask guys for their pictures do you? You don’t nag random dudes asking what they look like do you?

On EVE it’s probably a bad idea for a girl to give out her pictures. Either it becomes fap material, or the enemy get’s their hands on it and turns it into wretched propaganda.

I think my worst experience of giving out pics on the internet (before I came to EVE) was with this guy on another game who took my pictures and made a website with creepy I-love-you poetry he wrote for me. A whole website dedicated to me! Creepy.As.Fuck.

2. What’s your Facebook & other IRL information.

Respect a female’s right to privacy. No, she probably doesn’t want to be your facebook friend. No, she doesn’t want some random dude she’s just met that she shoots spaceships with to know where she lives in real life. The internet is scary enough for females.

EVE Online can be worse because of the male/female ratio, oh, and also because EVE is such a crazy game with a cornucopia of sociopaths. Most girls don’t want out of game contact with people they have just met. So don’t ask. If eventually she wants you to have it she will let you know.

My worst experience with facebook was friending a gamer and he used it to stalk like…everything. Every person I knew, my schedule, everything. Creepy. I got so fed up with the harassment I just deleted the whole thing.

3. Can I see your boobs?

Would you want some basement dweller online asking your mom/sister/wife/daughter/girlfriend for nude pics? Probably not. So why do you think it’s okay to ask? Sheesh. It’s the internet, find your bobbie pics elsewhere please!

The maturity range on EVE spans from gentlemen to guys who act like prepubescent little boys who snicker everytime a girl speaks on comms. I guess some guys were never taught by their Mamas that it’s not okay to ask for pictures of no-no parts.

My worst online experience with boob pics (before you assume, no, I’ve never)…back before I was wary of giving out pics, this guy asked for boobs and ofc I said no. No worries. He photo-shopped my head onto a topless body. #someguysarepervs

4. Get back in the kitchen/Make me a Sammich.

Comments like these usually come from guys who are awkward and don’t know how to speak to females, yet crave some kind of female attention. It’s silly, really.

I’ve never really experienced anything like this (except that one time, at band camp, with Poetic), in EVE or any other games but I know some other girls have.

It’s rude, so don’t say it, don’t even think it because girls are quite capable of giving you an in-game beat down thank-you-very-much. Being good (or bad) at games has nothing to do with gender.

5. Are you on your period?

This is usually said after the ‘honeymoon’ phase is over. At this point guys used to having a female around all the time and suddenly one day she bitches about you not getting tackle or fucking up her PVP experience somehow or other. Instead of owning up to your mistake, you turn it around by saying ‘oh my god you’ve got your period don’t you!’ Bad bad mistake.

So there you have it. Sure, there are exceptions to every rule. I know there are girls like Mintchip who document most every little thought they have and put it out there for you, and sure, there are a couple of girls I’ve heard about who have flashed boobie for ISK (so gross). But for the most part, the majority of females on EVE just want to log on just like you and play the game, just like you.